Hello, My name is Bill. I am a believer in Christ who
struggles with meth addiction. Notice that I identified myself as a believer
first, not as a meth addict, Because my identity is in Christ, not in my
addiction. This is the main difference between a secular 12 step program and a
Christ centered 12 step program, which is what Celebrate Recovery
is.
I will begin by sharing with you a short history of my life up to this
point. Notice I did not say a history of how I arrived at this point in my life,
Because “RECOVERY IS A JOURNEY NOT A DESTINATION.”
I grew up in a very loving “normal home” we did things
together as a family, camping trips, vacations, etc. We attended church together
on Sundays, (not because I wanted to but because I had to.)
At about 14 years old, I started experimenting with drugs. From age 14 to about 38 I
did drugs off and on; sometimes I would go months with out doing any. I never
tried to quit, I just had dry periods. It never even entered my mind that I had
a problem. I worked my way through society and progressed in my professional
life.
To the outside world I was the “normal” hard working, driven American, living the American dream. I had by this time been married and divorced twice and had not been in church in years. I
had custody of my 10 year old daughter, had a great job, a nice house, and was a
pillar of society, or so everyone thought. Actually by now I had become a daily
user of meth. I didn’t think I was a “Druggie” because I had never once in my
life used a needle. My method of choice was to smoke ICE. So in other words, I
had convinced myself that I was “OK”. But, I had become a major player in the
meth trade: buying and selling pounds of meth each week, distributing it all over
central Texas.
Then on November 11 ,2003 my so called“perfect life” came crashing
down around me. I was arrested and charged with possession of a controlled
substance with intent to distribute. I was caught red handed, I spent 3 days in
jail before I was bonded out. I was out on bond for almost 2 years before my
case went to trial.
I wish I could say I stayed clean and out of trouble during this time.
But, I didn’t. Between November 2003 and April 2005 I was arrested 4 more times.
Also during this period I was working through a secular recovery program
off and on, but more off than on.
Finally on April 16, 2005, while attending a men’s only revival called MEN-CAN
put on by Dallas Huston of Huston Ministries at Lake Brownwood. I accepted
JESUS CHRIST as my Lord and Savior. I then began to study his word 10-12 hours
a day and also to incorporate scripture into my recovery. This of course made
all the difference. Now I was no longer doing it on my own, I now knew I could
not do it on my own and that I had help. That if I did what I could GOD would
do the rest.
Now I need to back up a little and tell you some of the wonderful things
GOD has done in my life.
In June of 2004, I was involved in a car/motorcycle accident. I
was on the motorcycle, and was taken by Care flight to Harris Methodist hospital
in Fort Worth. While I was there the doctors performed a MRI to look for
internal injuries. As a result of this MRI they discovered that I had kidney
cancer (Renal Cell Carcinoma).
In October of 2004, I had my entire right kidney removed due
to cancer. The doctor who performed the surgery said it was just in time as the cancer was about to spread everywhere. So here was GOD’S hand working already: if
not for the accident I would never of known I had cancer until I was
dead.
At a follow-up appointment in January of 2005, the doctors discovered that the cancer had metastasized and was now in my right lung. At this time I was told that I had approximately 2 years to live. They set me up for a follow-up appointment in March of 2005, which I could not make ,so it was rescheduled for the end of July 2005.
But, before that appointment, on July 13, 2005, I was sentenced to 20 years and sent to
prison, even with the judge knowing I had terminal cancer and was going to see
the doctor the following week.
In September of 2005, I was finally seen by the prison doctors ,
through Cat Scans and MRIs I was informed that I now had 8 nodules and that they
were in both lungs.
It took another 5 months before I began to receive treatment. But, during
this time I continued to pray and believe . I studied His word 12-14 hours a
day. I prayed for release from prison, and for healing. Well GOD knew what I
needed and when I needed it. He would first use my cancer to free me from
prison, then He would work on healing my cancer.
On August 4, 2006, after serving only 13 months on a 20 year sentence I was
released on early parole due to medical reasons.
The reason I was granted this parole is basically because the State of
Texas did not want to pay for the medication the doctor was recommending,
because of the cost. (approximately $6000 per month) So once again only as He
can, GOD took what the devil intended for bad, and used it for good. He used my
cancer to free me from prison.
Since I have been home I have met and married a wonderful woman, who
truly loves and supports me. ( I LOVE YOU, NANCY) and also as many of you know, my
cancer is continuing to be healed. As of my last Cat Scan I only have 4 nodules
not 8 and they are so small they can’t even be seen on X-Ray only by CT
scan.
The medication was only at best meant to slow the growth of my cancer.
But, GOD has worked his miracles and is healing me. I believe that this is so He
can use me to lead this ministry of Celebrate Recovery at Lifechurch. So that I
can help others with their hurts, habits, and hang-ups as Rick Warren says, “GOD
NEVER WASTES A HURT.”