There were many tears from the people in the audience that day, as well as some doubt from people that didn’t believe that he was done with drugs. And, even though we had a
wonderful life together, I was still keeping this a secret from everyone I knew.
It was tough. In order to go out of town, Bill had to get special permission. When he asked
me to get married, he had to ask permission from both probation officers who
had to come and look at my house. I was required to be interviewed by the head probation
officer. They had to know everything about me. The probation officers tried so hard to convince me not to marry Bill. He told me that since Bill’s cancer was in his lungs, it was just a matter of
time before he passed away. He said, "Nancy, Bill is a criminal and you have never
even had a speeding ticket. We don’t let parolees get married under a year out
because they just keep making mistakes." I looked directly at the probation officer and said, "Every day with Bill is a blessing to me." The parole officer looked at me and said, "Well I can’t argue with
that."
We had decided to get married, but Bill wanted to tell the children everything, including that there would be a parole officer coming to our home often to check on him. He brought his daughter in for support, while we told my children. He told my children everything and apologized to them for the effect his situation would have on their lives. Bill also told the children that if they were not okay with the changes, that he would not marry me. I was angry because we had not talked about
that, but that was the way it was with him.
He so wanted to tell the rest of my family, but I would not let him. By this time they loved him and I could not bear the thought of that changine. Also, I was still very co- dependent and I believed in keeping things to myself.
We were happy together, but for some reason the Celebrate Recovery program
never took off like he thought it would. He was upset because
he wanted so much to help people. He would go to other churches and tell his
story. His story would move people so much that they would come to me after he spoke and
tell me they wanted to be like him; healed from the addiction. Even when he was
at the hospital and was so very ill, people would come up to me and tell me how he had
impacted their life, how he got them closer to God. This continued after his
death as well.
Even as wonderful as life was it was still hard on me. I was
lying to my family and had asked my children to lie as well. I hated being
interviewed by the parole officers, I tried not to think about it very much and
let him deal with all of that. His own brother was worried when I married him
that he would hurt me. His brother had had not realized how much Bill had changed because
he lived in another state. He did eventually realize he had changed and his
brother felt like he had his real brother Bill back. It was so hard not to tell anyone. I
worried because I had a job that required background and criminal history
checks and lived in fear that my employer would somehow find out. I had many sleepless nights over the stress of the situation, but I loved him and I loved God, so I just believed.
Right before we got married Bill decided to get some things out of storage from his old life. The storage was very far away and we had to rent a U- Haul to bring everything down that he
wanted. He had a hard time living in my house because he had nothing from before
to put in the house. We went down there and the storage had been put up for auction. He had nothing left. This was devestating for him. It was hard on me as well, seeing mail in the women’s name he had been arrested with. She was using his last name like they were married. I
told him that I was sorry, but that God had a reason for it and maybe it was for him
to start fresh with me. He agreed, but was very down about it for several weeks.
Bill always believed that his cancer was a blessing because he
discovered God, but he also felt like due to his addiction to Meth that it
accelerated the cancer in his body. I never thought he would go back to Meth or
any other drug because he was so strong in his faith and henever disappointed me.
Our lives were happy and when his daughter came to live with us, it
made our family complete. My children considered him their dad. He was always
trying to get them to take things to their biological dad to help with his addictions as
well. Bill truly cared about helping everyone that he could.
Days before our first anniversary Bill started complaining of a
headache. We didn’t think too much of it as we were painting the house and he
was prone to migraines. One morning he got up to go the bathroom and staggered to
it like he was drunk. He came out and I asked him if he knew who I was. I don’t
know why I asked him that; I had no reason to. He looked at me like I was crazy
and said, "No." I asked him what his daughter’s name was and he didn’t know. I
called an ambulance. He thought the year was 1980.
At the hospital they told me Bill's cancer had moved to his brain and other then relieving pressure on his brain, there was not really anything they could do. I was in the waiting room crying, when I got a call from my youngest son's doctor. My son has a heart condition and that day his doctor told me that my boy needed surgery immediately. I told the doctor what was going on and he told me that he was really sorry, but I paid him to take care of my son and he needed surgery now.
Bill had his shunt put in and he was more like himself. He knew us again. At
one point I had Bill and my son in two different hospitals. It was incredibly
hard; I could not have done it without God and my wonderful family and friends,
especially my sister and Whitney. My son and Bill each came home from the hospital a
day apart. My son recovered very quickly from his heart surgery, but Bill took a
little longer. I was off work for 6 weeks. Bill would be alright for a while
but then would have to go to the hospital for a few days. Every time he came
out he was a little worse. My daughters took over the house so I could take care of him and work. It got to a point where he was having a hard time going out. He had short term memory loss, so he
would get lost easy.
When it seemed more than I could bear, God would give me Bill back for a minute. Bill told us not to blame God. He had told us many times he was not afraid of dying because he would be with his Father, God. The one thing that meant so much to me was before I met Bill I would always buy a poinsettia for myself because it would remind me of my grandmother. After we dated awhile, right
before Christmas, when I went to buy it, he happened to be with me. He told me
that he always wanted to be the one that bought it for me. The month of December
had been hard and Bill was getting sicker and weaker and really had hard time
thinking about anything expect pain. Several times I would put a poinsettia in
my cart but always took it out. I decided that if he couldn’t buy it then I would not
have it. One day I came home and there was a poinsettia. He had our daughter drive him to
the store because he needed to buy me one. My daughter told him she would go for
him but he insisted that he go and be the one to make the purchase. That poinsettia lived for 18 months.
On January 2, 2009, Bill went home to be with our Father. I miss
him every day. He gave me more love than I have ever known and gave me the
privilege of being a second mom to his daughter. I hope our story will inspire
people to know that a person can change and beat their addictions and have a
wonderful life. I would not have traded anything for my time with him. He taught
me so much. It took me four years to tell his story because I was afraid of what people would think. I have told my family and the reaction was that our story needed to be
told. And I am proud to have been Bill's wife.
wonderful life together, I was still keeping this a secret from everyone I knew.
It was tough. In order to go out of town, Bill had to get special permission. When he asked
me to get married, he had to ask permission from both probation officers who
had to come and look at my house. I was required to be interviewed by the head probation
officer. They had to know everything about me. The probation officers tried so hard to convince me not to marry Bill. He told me that since Bill’s cancer was in his lungs, it was just a matter of
time before he passed away. He said, "Nancy, Bill is a criminal and you have never
even had a speeding ticket. We don’t let parolees get married under a year out
because they just keep making mistakes." I looked directly at the probation officer and said, "Every day with Bill is a blessing to me." The parole officer looked at me and said, "Well I can’t argue with
that."
We had decided to get married, but Bill wanted to tell the children everything, including that there would be a parole officer coming to our home often to check on him. He brought his daughter in for support, while we told my children. He told my children everything and apologized to them for the effect his situation would have on their lives. Bill also told the children that if they were not okay with the changes, that he would not marry me. I was angry because we had not talked about
that, but that was the way it was with him.
He so wanted to tell the rest of my family, but I would not let him. By this time they loved him and I could not bear the thought of that changine. Also, I was still very co- dependent and I believed in keeping things to myself.
We were happy together, but for some reason the Celebrate Recovery program
never took off like he thought it would. He was upset because
he wanted so much to help people. He would go to other churches and tell his
story. His story would move people so much that they would come to me after he spoke and
tell me they wanted to be like him; healed from the addiction. Even when he was
at the hospital and was so very ill, people would come up to me and tell me how he had
impacted their life, how he got them closer to God. This continued after his
death as well.
Even as wonderful as life was it was still hard on me. I was
lying to my family and had asked my children to lie as well. I hated being
interviewed by the parole officers, I tried not to think about it very much and
let him deal with all of that. His own brother was worried when I married him
that he would hurt me. His brother had had not realized how much Bill had changed because
he lived in another state. He did eventually realize he had changed and his
brother felt like he had his real brother Bill back. It was so hard not to tell anyone. I
worried because I had a job that required background and criminal history
checks and lived in fear that my employer would somehow find out. I had many sleepless nights over the stress of the situation, but I loved him and I loved God, so I just believed.
Right before we got married Bill decided to get some things out of storage from his old life. The storage was very far away and we had to rent a U- Haul to bring everything down that he
wanted. He had a hard time living in my house because he had nothing from before
to put in the house. We went down there and the storage had been put up for auction. He had nothing left. This was devestating for him. It was hard on me as well, seeing mail in the women’s name he had been arrested with. She was using his last name like they were married. I
told him that I was sorry, but that God had a reason for it and maybe it was for him
to start fresh with me. He agreed, but was very down about it for several weeks.
Bill always believed that his cancer was a blessing because he
discovered God, but he also felt like due to his addiction to Meth that it
accelerated the cancer in his body. I never thought he would go back to Meth or
any other drug because he was so strong in his faith and henever disappointed me.
Our lives were happy and when his daughter came to live with us, it
made our family complete. My children considered him their dad. He was always
trying to get them to take things to their biological dad to help with his addictions as
well. Bill truly cared about helping everyone that he could.
Days before our first anniversary Bill started complaining of a
headache. We didn’t think too much of it as we were painting the house and he
was prone to migraines. One morning he got up to go the bathroom and staggered to
it like he was drunk. He came out and I asked him if he knew who I was. I don’t
know why I asked him that; I had no reason to. He looked at me like I was crazy
and said, "No." I asked him what his daughter’s name was and he didn’t know. I
called an ambulance. He thought the year was 1980.
At the hospital they told me Bill's cancer had moved to his brain and other then relieving pressure on his brain, there was not really anything they could do. I was in the waiting room crying, when I got a call from my youngest son's doctor. My son has a heart condition and that day his doctor told me that my boy needed surgery immediately. I told the doctor what was going on and he told me that he was really sorry, but I paid him to take care of my son and he needed surgery now.
Bill had his shunt put in and he was more like himself. He knew us again. At
one point I had Bill and my son in two different hospitals. It was incredibly
hard; I could not have done it without God and my wonderful family and friends,
especially my sister and Whitney. My son and Bill each came home from the hospital a
day apart. My son recovered very quickly from his heart surgery, but Bill took a
little longer. I was off work for 6 weeks. Bill would be alright for a while
but then would have to go to the hospital for a few days. Every time he came
out he was a little worse. My daughters took over the house so I could take care of him and work. It got to a point where he was having a hard time going out. He had short term memory loss, so he
would get lost easy.
When it seemed more than I could bear, God would give me Bill back for a minute. Bill told us not to blame God. He had told us many times he was not afraid of dying because he would be with his Father, God. The one thing that meant so much to me was before I met Bill I would always buy a poinsettia for myself because it would remind me of my grandmother. After we dated awhile, right
before Christmas, when I went to buy it, he happened to be with me. He told me
that he always wanted to be the one that bought it for me. The month of December
had been hard and Bill was getting sicker and weaker and really had hard time
thinking about anything expect pain. Several times I would put a poinsettia in
my cart but always took it out. I decided that if he couldn’t buy it then I would not
have it. One day I came home and there was a poinsettia. He had our daughter drive him to
the store because he needed to buy me one. My daughter told him she would go for
him but he insisted that he go and be the one to make the purchase. That poinsettia lived for 18 months.
On January 2, 2009, Bill went home to be with our Father. I miss
him every day. He gave me more love than I have ever known and gave me the
privilege of being a second mom to his daughter. I hope our story will inspire
people to know that a person can change and beat their addictions and have a
wonderful life. I would not have traded anything for my time with him. He taught
me so much. It took me four years to tell his story because I was afraid of what people would think. I have told my family and the reaction was that our story needed to be
told. And I am proud to have been Bill's wife.