This morning I am taking a very brief break from the story of Daddy's death to share with you something that happened last night. I think this story is relevant because it is typical of things I have encountered since Daddy's death. I don't know that experiences or situations are actually occurring more often or if I am simply more in tune to things and to people.
Last night several family members and I participated in the Electric Run at Fair Park in Dallas. For those of you who know Dallas, you know that this isn't the best part of town, but the race was amazing and we left there laughing and silly and just enjoying life. As we walked out into the parking lot, a shabbily dressed man stumbled toward us. He was very friendly and also a bit drunk as he called out, "Hey, did you win?" We, of course, said, "yes", although that wasn't quite the truth. He came up to me and my brother-in-law and said with slurred, but fast speech, "You know, today's my 56th birthday and I sure would like a hot meal. I done been cravin' me some chicken from over at Henderson's but it costs $4.00. Some chicken sure would keep me warm tonight." Now I know that there are different schools of thought on what one should do when approached by a strange, drunk man in a parking lot in the middle of a bad part of town, but I felt a connection with this man immediately. Again, perhaps my sensitivity to others has been heightened, I don't know. What I do know is that treating others with kindness, no matter what, it of utmost importance. And giving people the benefit of the doubt is necessary.
My brother-in-law, who is precious, immediately pulled out $3.00 and handed it to him, as I dug through our bag and found a five dollar bill. The old man (and yes, I know 56 isn't old, but I am telling you, a 56 year old alcoholic on the streets of Dallas, is much older than his years), said, "Oh thank you, I can get a two pieces of chicken for that and a big, cold Dr. Pepper. This is going to be a good birthday!" And then he proceeded to pull me in close and kissed me on the cheek. He grabbed my brother-in-law into a huge bear hug. With tears in my eyes and more in my heart, I got in the car and we drove home to our lovely house in the suburbs, but my mind was on that man in Dallas.
Here is the deal. I am not stupid. I am well aware that he might have taken our money and gone straight to the nearest liquor store. He might do this kind of thing all the time. And I really don't care. I did what I felt was right. If he used our money for alcohol, then he did. But what if he really was hungry? What if it really was his birthday? I have much more than I will ever need, $5.00 is nothing to me. He didn't appear to have anything. Who am I to judge?
And I will tell you something else. I saw my Daddy in that man's eyes. I heard my Daddy in that man's words. I felt my Daddy's hands when that old, drunk man pulled me into his embrace. I smelled my Daddy when I stood by him. You see, my Daddy had been homeless before. He too, had begged on the streets. He too, had been hungry and yes, he also needed to know where his next drink was coming from, because he was addicted. And at that time, when I didn't even know where my Daddy was, I prayed and I prayed hard that someone would show him some kindness and buy him a meal. That man last night was most likely someone's Daddy too. Maybe his daughter was somewhere praying someone would help him. We have to allow ourselves to see what is not obvious. You never know when you are being used to fulfill someone's prayer. I don't know what he did with our money, but I sure hope he felt that someone saw him as more than a homeless drunk. And I hope he got his chicken.....
Last night several family members and I participated in the Electric Run at Fair Park in Dallas. For those of you who know Dallas, you know that this isn't the best part of town, but the race was amazing and we left there laughing and silly and just enjoying life. As we walked out into the parking lot, a shabbily dressed man stumbled toward us. He was very friendly and also a bit drunk as he called out, "Hey, did you win?" We, of course, said, "yes", although that wasn't quite the truth. He came up to me and my brother-in-law and said with slurred, but fast speech, "You know, today's my 56th birthday and I sure would like a hot meal. I done been cravin' me some chicken from over at Henderson's but it costs $4.00. Some chicken sure would keep me warm tonight." Now I know that there are different schools of thought on what one should do when approached by a strange, drunk man in a parking lot in the middle of a bad part of town, but I felt a connection with this man immediately. Again, perhaps my sensitivity to others has been heightened, I don't know. What I do know is that treating others with kindness, no matter what, it of utmost importance. And giving people the benefit of the doubt is necessary.
My brother-in-law, who is precious, immediately pulled out $3.00 and handed it to him, as I dug through our bag and found a five dollar bill. The old man (and yes, I know 56 isn't old, but I am telling you, a 56 year old alcoholic on the streets of Dallas, is much older than his years), said, "Oh thank you, I can get a two pieces of chicken for that and a big, cold Dr. Pepper. This is going to be a good birthday!" And then he proceeded to pull me in close and kissed me on the cheek. He grabbed my brother-in-law into a huge bear hug. With tears in my eyes and more in my heart, I got in the car and we drove home to our lovely house in the suburbs, but my mind was on that man in Dallas.
Here is the deal. I am not stupid. I am well aware that he might have taken our money and gone straight to the nearest liquor store. He might do this kind of thing all the time. And I really don't care. I did what I felt was right. If he used our money for alcohol, then he did. But what if he really was hungry? What if it really was his birthday? I have much more than I will ever need, $5.00 is nothing to me. He didn't appear to have anything. Who am I to judge?
And I will tell you something else. I saw my Daddy in that man's eyes. I heard my Daddy in that man's words. I felt my Daddy's hands when that old, drunk man pulled me into his embrace. I smelled my Daddy when I stood by him. You see, my Daddy had been homeless before. He too, had begged on the streets. He too, had been hungry and yes, he also needed to know where his next drink was coming from, because he was addicted. And at that time, when I didn't even know where my Daddy was, I prayed and I prayed hard that someone would show him some kindness and buy him a meal. That man last night was most likely someone's Daddy too. Maybe his daughter was somewhere praying someone would help him. We have to allow ourselves to see what is not obvious. You never know when you are being used to fulfill someone's prayer. I don't know what he did with our money, but I sure hope he felt that someone saw him as more than a homeless drunk. And I hope he got his chicken.....