By Whitney....
Today would have been my Daddy's 71st birthday. I miss him. Even though Stormi and I were applying some "tough love" principles with him and not visiting him, we always sent him cards, letters and pictures, which he apparently cherished. Two years ago at this time, he had only been gone for three weeks and I caught myself standing in the card aisle, looking at birthday cards. Even last year, I remember thinking that I had better find him a card and get it in the mail, and then suddenly, that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach happened and I remembered that I can't ever send my Daddy another card.
Buying cards for an alcoholic parent is a difficult task. They all say things like, "Thank you for always being the kind of man I can look up to and admire" or "You always put your family first and took such good care of us. You're the Daddy of my dreams!" or my personal favorite, "Thank you for the most perfect childhood memories a girl could ever have, Daddy! I want to marry a man just like you!".......yeah.....I didn't ever buy those cards because they were simply not true, and I am an honest girl. Poor Stormi worked at Hallmark for years and even she had trouble finding an appropriate card for him. But still, we searched until we found the right card and we sent them to him because we did love him and cards and letters were a much more emotionally safe way to communicate with him than by phone or in person. We just never knew when a perfectly pleasant conversation would turn to screaming and name calling.
Daddy saved every one of the cards we sent. He knew we loved him; I have to believe that. And I feel a bit sad today because although 71 isn't really old, he would have been one step closer to becoming the cute, little old man who sat on my porch and drank sweet tea while telling tall tales. One step closer to becoming the Daddy of my dreams.
Today would have been my Daddy's 71st birthday. I miss him. Even though Stormi and I were applying some "tough love" principles with him and not visiting him, we always sent him cards, letters and pictures, which he apparently cherished. Two years ago at this time, he had only been gone for three weeks and I caught myself standing in the card aisle, looking at birthday cards. Even last year, I remember thinking that I had better find him a card and get it in the mail, and then suddenly, that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach happened and I remembered that I can't ever send my Daddy another card.
Buying cards for an alcoholic parent is a difficult task. They all say things like, "Thank you for always being the kind of man I can look up to and admire" or "You always put your family first and took such good care of us. You're the Daddy of my dreams!" or my personal favorite, "Thank you for the most perfect childhood memories a girl could ever have, Daddy! I want to marry a man just like you!".......yeah.....I didn't ever buy those cards because they were simply not true, and I am an honest girl. Poor Stormi worked at Hallmark for years and even she had trouble finding an appropriate card for him. But still, we searched until we found the right card and we sent them to him because we did love him and cards and letters were a much more emotionally safe way to communicate with him than by phone or in person. We just never knew when a perfectly pleasant conversation would turn to screaming and name calling.
Daddy saved every one of the cards we sent. He knew we loved him; I have to believe that. And I feel a bit sad today because although 71 isn't really old, he would have been one step closer to becoming the cute, little old man who sat on my porch and drank sweet tea while telling tall tales. One step closer to becoming the Daddy of my dreams.