Hello Friends....It has been a long time. No excuses, except life gets in the way of productivity and stress impacts creativity in a bad way sometimes. And the truth is, I have to be in the right frame of mind to even think about writing, especially when it comes to Daddy, addiction and matters of the heart.
After fourteen years in my last school, I started working at a new school district this year and it has been extremely stressful, especially the first semester. IThat semester, I worked about 70 hours a week and had absolutely no time to think, much less write. But, what I have been doing is being more vocal about Daddy, his demons and my childhood. I am overwhelmed with the kindness of the responses that I receive, everytime I am open and honest. People have said, "I never would have known. You are happy and educated and successful." That, my friends, is because I refused to allow my childhood to dictate the woman I became. I fought hard to mold myself into a productive adult. It was hard, but it was so worth it. And while I am proud of myself for not hiding behind the blog and for having face to face discussions with so many people, there are a great number of people who have written to tell me what this site means to them and ask when I was going to update. I honestly don't have any significant wisdom to share, I am just a daughter trying to make sense of the past and not let the past affect my present in a negative way. But, it warms my heart so much to be told that our story is helping other families, which was our mission from the beginning, so here I am, back again.
January 15, 2017 marked six years since Daddy's death. It never gets easier, but time does pass. He would have been 75 years old on February 10th. It is always a hard few weeks, and the questions regarding excatly how he died and who was responsible come back with a vengence. I have contacted the police department several times and have been told that there is no police report from that night, even though police officers were there in his apartment and were the ones who contacted me. Why is there no report? It does not make sense. The man (his neighbor) who had Daddy's car the night we arrived in Broken Arrow is not tracable online. We have still never found Daddy's driver's license or debit card, but we know that this individual had been using his debit card for at least a few weeks before his death. I will continue to question as many people as I can, but after six years, I am afraid we will never know what really happened that day. What I do know is that Daddy lives on in our hearts and when we are feeling sad or anxious, a bluebird never fails to appear. That brings comfort to us.
So. I am back. And for now I will leave you with this quote that spoke to my heart yesterday from Garth Brooks song People Loving People:
People loving people
That's the enemy of everything that's evil
Ain't no quick fix at the end of a needle
It's just people loving people
Go out today and love some people, my friends. You never know when a kind word or a quick hug can make all the difference in the world to someone.
After fourteen years in my last school, I started working at a new school district this year and it has been extremely stressful, especially the first semester. IThat semester, I worked about 70 hours a week and had absolutely no time to think, much less write. But, what I have been doing is being more vocal about Daddy, his demons and my childhood. I am overwhelmed with the kindness of the responses that I receive, everytime I am open and honest. People have said, "I never would have known. You are happy and educated and successful." That, my friends, is because I refused to allow my childhood to dictate the woman I became. I fought hard to mold myself into a productive adult. It was hard, but it was so worth it. And while I am proud of myself for not hiding behind the blog and for having face to face discussions with so many people, there are a great number of people who have written to tell me what this site means to them and ask when I was going to update. I honestly don't have any significant wisdom to share, I am just a daughter trying to make sense of the past and not let the past affect my present in a negative way. But, it warms my heart so much to be told that our story is helping other families, which was our mission from the beginning, so here I am, back again.
January 15, 2017 marked six years since Daddy's death. It never gets easier, but time does pass. He would have been 75 years old on February 10th. It is always a hard few weeks, and the questions regarding excatly how he died and who was responsible come back with a vengence. I have contacted the police department several times and have been told that there is no police report from that night, even though police officers were there in his apartment and were the ones who contacted me. Why is there no report? It does not make sense. The man (his neighbor) who had Daddy's car the night we arrived in Broken Arrow is not tracable online. We have still never found Daddy's driver's license or debit card, but we know that this individual had been using his debit card for at least a few weeks before his death. I will continue to question as many people as I can, but after six years, I am afraid we will never know what really happened that day. What I do know is that Daddy lives on in our hearts and when we are feeling sad or anxious, a bluebird never fails to appear. That brings comfort to us.
So. I am back. And for now I will leave you with this quote that spoke to my heart yesterday from Garth Brooks song People Loving People:
People loving people
That's the enemy of everything that's evil
Ain't no quick fix at the end of a needle
It's just people loving people
Go out today and love some people, my friends. You never know when a kind word or a quick hug can make all the difference in the world to someone.